Why is it that the moment you announce that you’re single, people gasp and stare at you as if you have some sort of disease? Is it a sickness? An illness? I need to know. I imagine people’s hearts sinking instantly when they find out the “news” that you’re single. “Poor baby, you must be devastated,” is what they might as well say.
Some people automatically assume that you’re lonely and that you must not be enjoying life if you don’t “have someone.”
Well, I’m here to tell you that is not the case. Being single can be quite enjoyable. For me, when I went through a period of time when I was single, it was one of the most liberating times in my life. For the first time, I felt like I was getting to know me. For the first time, I felt like I was beginning to like myself and know what was likeable about me.
If you use your singleness wisely, you could never truly be lonely. Here’s why:
You discover more about yourself. You know how we get all giddy when we find out something new and interesting about someone that we’re dating? Well, it’s the same way when we discover new things about ourselves. We discover new gifts, new talents, new passions… That make us go, hey, I’m pretty darn cool. We think to ourselves, I never would have known that I enjoyed doing that. And it’s such an exciting feeling and experience getting to know yourself.
You have more TIME to yourself. Now that you’ve discovered all of these new interests and hobbies, you want to explore them. You want to take time to pursue these things and to develop your gifts and talents. And you can because nothing is stopping you. How many times have we been in a season in our lives where we’ve been extremely busy (whether it was work, our children, school, etc.) and we wished we had more time to do the things that we enjoyed doing? I’m not saying that you can’t do any of these things while you’re in a relationship, but your time is divided between you and the person that you’re dating (not to mention everything else you have going on)…I’m just saying, take advantage now.
You actually discover what you want in a mate. I know you’re probably thinking, how is that possible if I’m not dating anyone? But it is! The cool thing about spending time with yourself and getting to know yourself is that you actually start to have an understanding of what you like and what you don’t like. Go figure! Who would’ve ever thought that getting to know yourself would mean learning what type of mate you want (yes, I’m totally being sarcastic but serious at the same time)? For example, if spiritually is important to you and it’s something that you can’t live without, do you need to date someone who isn’t to know that’s something that you ab-so-lutely want in partner? I don’t think so! But here’s the thing, if you never take the time to recognize the things within yourself that are important to you– if you never identify those things, you won’t know what you like and what you don’t like. Then you’ll go from one person to the next going, “Ugh, I don’t like that,” “Ooh, that ain’t for me.” But you would have know that had you spent time getting to know YOU! Make sense?