Starting Over With God

I dated a guy once that lied to me about everything from his job to how many children he had. We were well into the first year of our relationship when I found out that he actually had two daughters instead of one (who actually turned out not to be his after all, but that’s another story in and of itself).

I’m not sure what got us to the point where we were going our separate ways (as if that wasn’t enough, right?), but I remember him asking me if we could “start over.” I liked the idea and sound of that. It made me believe that he really wanted us to go back to the beginning and get to know each other all over again.

That’s a hard concept for some people to understand. How do you get to know someone again whom you already know so much about? The idea doesn’t seem logical to most. Nonetheless, that’s what I wanted him to do. That’s what I wanted us to do. In other words, I wanted us to take a step back. I felt like there needed to be some distance between us–some separation because I didn’t have the same level of trust for him as I did before. But he wanted to remain close to me. I was appalled at some of his actions and it wasn’t long before I began to feel like he really didn’t want to “start over” at all. What he really wanted was for us to pick back up where we left off. The whole “starting over” thing was just so that he could have another chance. I grew more and more angry as I came to this realization. After everything that he has done he wants us to just pick up where we left off? Does he not understand the severity of his actions? Does he not understand that he’s lost my trust? 


God reminded me of this time in my life. He reminded me of how much the idea of picking up where we left off annoyed me.
And then I understood.
God is a loving god– one of many chances. But there comes a time when He says, this is personal.
Okay…. I get it.
 
Do you, really? 
 
I know what I need to do.
 
And I’m willing to do all that it takes. I have to go back to the beginning– to what started it all. 
Desperation
 

 
 

I came from such a broken place. I didn’t know anything about God except what I had passively heard in church when I was growing up. I even remember wondering if there was a God.

I needed to experience a love that wouldn’t fail…I couldn’t take another heartbreak. I didn’t know where else to turn. But then He showed up. Changed my life forever. I don’t know how I could ever forget about that…

 

Humble yourself. You need God. 

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