How to Recover From a Bad Breakup

Life

There are a lot of remedies and solutions out in the world as far as what one should do to recover from a broken heart. Most of them seem to offer fast results– “quick fixes,” but nothing that will truly heal our hearts and prevent us from repeating the same mistakes again.

Some of the heartbreaks that we experience we have no control over. Our significant other (or so we thought) was just that darn good at covering things up, but then the truth finally comes out one day. There’s no way that we could have known that our potential life partner was a cheater and a compulsive liar, right? But let’s face it, most of the time that is not how things happen. There is usually some sign or indication that something is “just not right” and the other person is up to no good. We “feel” like something is going on. We see things. But we “just can’t put our fingers on it.” And in some cases, we down right know the truth, but we continue to believe the lies. This is how most heartbreaks occur.

As much as it makes us feel good to point the finger and blame the other person for breaking our hearts, we too must take some form of responsibility. It’s not completely the other person’s fault that our heart is broken. (I’m sure that you all are gasping right now at this point). But allow me to explain.

How many times did you hear an explanation or see something going on with your significant other that did not “seem right?” How many times did you do something about it? You didn’t trust yourself enough to do (what seemed like then to be) the unthinkable.

Yes, I’m talking about leaving the relationship… which ultimately ended in a heart break.

 

In this week’s video, I share with you all four tips to recover from a bad breakup.

 

Tip #1Accept that the relationship is over.

In order to begin the healing process, one must first accept and acknowledge that what was will never be again. Yes, I know that it’s a harsh reality to deal with, but it’s the first step to finding closure and moving on.

 

Tip #2- Admit your mistakes.

As I mentioned before, you must take some responsibility, especially if there was evidence or some indication that the other person was doing wrong. Taking responsibility allows you to take your mind off of the other person and focus on yourself. We cannot control other people’s actions or what they choose to do. We can, however, make choices for ourselves that will help us in the long run. If one is constantly in a state where he or she feels unloved, lonely, or deprived of reciprocity in a relationship, then he/she has the power to change that. We don’t always have to wait until we see things crumble apart before our eyes. We can trust our instincts, learn to love ourselves, know what we deserve, and make decisions accordingly. Choosing not to accept responsibility or admit our mistakes will not get us very far in our healing process.

 

Tip #3- Take time to heal and pray.

A lot of people believe that we just need to “get out and take our minds off of things” and then everything will magically be alright. I’m all for getting out of the house and doing things instead of sitting around sulking day in and day out, but sometimes we really need to sit and think about everything that transpired. It hurts to think about these things and go back over them again in our minds, but this is a necessary process if we ever want to recover from our heartbreak. We need to sit and think about where we went wrong and what we allowed. We don’t need to beat ourselves up about it, but we do need to think about these things. We cannot just sweep them under the rug and act like it never happened. Usually, what we’ll find (if we take the necessary time) is that there is a deeper underlying issue within us. What else would make us suffer that much abuse in a relationship?

 

Tip #4- Decide what you are going to do different.

The heartbreak was the result, but the initial problem began with our mentality. Because of the way that we thought, the way that we viewed things–ourselves, led us to make the choices that we did. We did not make the right ones. After we’ve given ourselves enough time, we need to decide what is going to be different the next time around. What will you do? What will you NOT do? What will you accept? Do you know what you deserve? While we may want to recover from the hurt and pain that we feel in our hearts, we need to recover or become better overall, which involves a new mentality–a new mindset.

Are you ready for recovery?

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6 thoughts on “How to Recover From a Bad Breakup

  1. I think this is great advice! Its easy to demonise the other person after a break up but a good honest look at oneself is more useful in the long run. I always find time, distance and talking things through with wise friends helps as well.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Unless if you had a relationship with a disordered person and in that case, no matter what you would have done, the result would still be the same.

    Like

      1. I mean that there are cases that the other party is so disfunctional, that you can’t sustain the relationship regardless of your tries.

        Like

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